We walk with the dying … Every day.

We potentially expose ourselves to COVID … Every day

We work during a pandemic … Every day

We make sure we are in compliance, attend meetings, juggle schedules, juggle staff, file documents, handle supplies, answer phones, send emails, audit charts, depend on volunteers, drive between homes, attempt to solve problems, enter facilities, fend off dogs, leave our house early and come home tired, write more documents, etc. … Every day

But most of all… We walk with the dying.

Every day

Why?

“Why” is the question?

Why walk with the dying? Knowing the answer to the “why” is the answer.

Yes, we get paid. But we could make money elsewhere.

Yes, we work within our area of expertise, but we could do that in other settings.

So back to the why? Why walk with the dying? Why do it every day?

I think the answer is found when we look deep within the eyes of our caregivers.

Gaze intently into the eyes of one who shoulders most of the care for our patients and you will see two distinct characteristics. One quality is exhaustion. If the eyes are the window of the soul and you look deeply into the soul of every caregiver you will clearly see exhaustion. 24/7/365 with no definitive end in sight. But exhaustion is not the only attribute we would discover in those baby blues. No, if we take the time to look closely enough we also see love. Even if the person is only a shell of who they used to be, in the eyes of the caregiver it is still their daddy. This is momma. This is their chosen for life spouse. This is their life long best friend. This is their child. This is their own flesh and blood. So, as you look deeply, gaze beyond the exhaustion and that glimmer of light you notice radiating through will be love.

Unfortunately however there are far too many times that there is only one set of eyes to gaze into. Far too frequently we can take a glimpse around the room and see — nothing. That is correct; we can see — nothing. There are no eyes filled with exhaustion; there are no eyes with that smattering of love. Outside of our patient’s eyes there are not any eyes to observe. When we securitize the eyes of these patients we see loneliness. That patient’s tears are not only salty but they are also lonely. That patient brings tears to my eyes as they are dying alone. They are walking – alone. They are dying- alone.

Now, back to the “why.” Why do we walk daily with the dying? Because they are real people who love and are loved. They are currently at a part of life’s journey that they would rather not be on.

So, we walk. We walk with them on their journey. Even when they are dying.

We do so every day.

We walk with the dying … every day.

It is an honor.